Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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