Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
