i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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