That's when you crack a 10am beer
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Of course I have a pirate flag
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
