Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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