i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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