So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
