roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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