u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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