like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize