Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude i'm inner monologue high
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
