Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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