Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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