What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
