Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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