im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize