is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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