yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
