Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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