AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
