Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
