My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize