Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize