so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize