it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
