Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
