She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
