I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
