I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize