Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
