I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
