I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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