My pussy is not your playground.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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