if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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