I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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