I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
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