How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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