I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize