There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
