all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
