There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
