My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Let's paint friendship bongs
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
