woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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