is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
