Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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