you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
