Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
