you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
