I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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