Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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