That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
