no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
