Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
