Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
