I'm drive I can fine osifer
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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