Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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