But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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