What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
