so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
