anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
