I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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