Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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