Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
