Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
is wine microwaveable?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
