I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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