I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize