bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
