my mouth tastes like poor choices
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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