I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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