I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
why do cheetos always look like penises
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
